sylvar: (Default)
All songs that you may see written in praise of smoking in magazines or newspapers, or hear sung upon the stage, are puffs, paid for by the proprietors of cigar divans and tobacco shops, to make their trade popular, therefore, never believe nor be deluded by them.

—Charles Wm. Day, Hints on Etiquette and the Usages of Society, with a Glance at Bad Habits, 1836 (archive.org)
sylvar: (Default)
Not that I particularly want to help the ad industry, but people, please:

When you're buying Google AdWords to sell airfare and accomodations in Turkey, for heaven's sake, use "-thanksgiving"!

There aren't enough Y's in all the Scrabble boards in all the world to properly spell DOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...
sylvar: (Default)
Truly bizarre.  You want something promoted these days, you have to be willing to do weird stuff.  BananaName is weird stuff.  They'll write your name onto the peel of a banana, then take a photo and post it for all the world to see.  And they're paying me to do this.  It's a crazy circular world -- or banana-shaped, to say the very least.
sylvar: (Default)
Washlet has got to be the best Flash site I've ever seen:
  • Its design is very clean (ha ha)
  • It uses human faces in a friendly way (some of them actually seem to be looking right back at you when you look at them)
  • It presents a six-category navigation scheme in a way that's literally self-explanatory and omnipresent
  • It does a great job of explaining a product that serves a function one doesn't usually discuss like this
Some politico really ought to hire the creative team.  If they can do this for an advanced toilet, imagine what they could do for a career legislator... 
sylvar: (B5: Sheridan: Big Damn Hero)
There's a company whose purpose it is to send trucks around town with rotating advertising panels and an FM transmitter, creating more pollution for the purpose of making it impossible to escape commercial messages.

I ended up near one of these trucks on my morning commute, and decided to preempt their programming.  Their FM transmitter was puny (couldn't get a clear signal from about 20 feet away).  I happened to have an iPod FM transmitter available, so I fired it up, tuned it to broadcast on 99.9 FM, and played

I really regret that I was going to the office today.  I wish I could have followed it for a while longer.  I wish I had songs lined up in a playlist that were even more offensive.  I wish I had a brand-new car, so far I got this hatchback...

Of course, I'd just have been creating more pollution that way.  Maybe what I need is a weatherproof version of the LED throwie, only with an FM transmitter and a chip with a brief offensive message on it...

Come to think of it, a cross-FM-spectrum, low-power transmitter with a repeating message would be a great variant on Road Rage Cards.  It could say to anything within 10 meters, thus serving as both a warning and (if the target is listening to the radio) an annoyance.

A Bluetooth poon will be left as an exercise for the reader.
sylvar: (Default)
I'm going through the Sunday coupons.  I found an ad for popcorn that says their brand is So delicious, even Jerome "The Bus" Bettis can't resist!.

Which makes me wonder what I'm missing...

  • Jerome "The Bus" Bettis has the same sort of reaction to eating corn that I do, but he eats their popcorn anyway because he can't resist.

  • Jerome "The Bus" Bettis is known by his teammates as a man with great self-discipline, a man who believes that snacking leads to bad consequences, but even he can't resist this sort of snack.
  • The photograph of a smiling football player is not Jerome Bettis; "Jerome Bettis" really is the team's bus, so it only consumes corn in the form of ethanol fuel, but the smiling football player has stuffed popcorn into the gas tank, and the bus was unable to resist.  I'm not sure why the smiling football player is smiling about this.  Maybe he's from the other team.  Maybe he's stupid, and proud of himself for having fed the bus some popcorn all by himself.
It's gotta be something like this.  Otherwise, why the hell would they say So delicious, even Jerome "The Bus" Bettis can't resist?  Are we supposed to be able to understand this claim?  Or are they just dumber than a bus with a tank full of popcorn and hoping that we are too?
sylvar: (Ignatius J. Reilly)
So I'm driving home from Mobile this weekend and I see a billboard for the Ford Fusion. The ad agency, obviously trying to sound technologically advanced, has come up with the following line:

Ford Fusion: Sticks to the road like a positively charged electron.

Umm... what? A positively charged electron?

There's no such thing. Sure, some people will refer to a positron as a positively charged electron, but this is a bad description. A positron is an anti-electron. Made of anti-matter. And we all know what happens when matter meets anti-matter, right? (Hint: BOOM!)

That such a slogan could have made it all the way to a billboard without someone scratching her/his head and saying, "Uh, boss, you realize this makes Ford look like they're dangerously incompetent, right?" disgusts me.

November 2010

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