Dazed and confused

[sylvar]

This afternoon I found myself unable to concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds. I tried to make sense of all of the things I need to do to get the network humming, and I went into a sort of infinite recursion. I wandered the office for about ten minutes, thinking about how I could get my brain sorted out, whether it was the constant whine of the open server behind me, or too many carbs for lunch (tomato soup in a bread bowl 90 minutes earlier), or whether I was just losing my mind. It was pretty scary.

I ended up finally articulating what I was thinking: I need to get out of here for a while. I went home at 3:30 (ironically when Jodi wanted me to leave anyway; I'd told her I didn't think I could). I had no problem driving, though that didn't require much thought, only presence.

When I got home, I cleaned out the catboxes thoroughly (they were beginning to really stink), filled them up, took out the very smelly trash, and now I'm working on laundry. I'm thinking that maybe some physical activity will help. I'm also thinking that I've been really thirsty for a while and I haven't done anything about it. But now that I can sustain that thought long enough to do something about it... okay, now I've got a water bottle.

Gotta wonder if this is a diabetes thing or what. I've got a sinus headache, too. (It's naht a tumah.) Or maybe I suffer from the dread disease hypochondria. I don't know. But I'm going to see if I can get this hyper-ADD turned off. And, yes, I did take the normal amount of Strattera today, and got a normal amount of sleep.

Comments

[fizzgig-bites.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my life. I'm not diabetic though, just ADHD.

I have several strategies for when this happens and it does often.

I took up Buddhist mediation when I went back to school because I was having trouble concentrating and eventual panic attacks. Because I was on Ritalin and rejected it, drugs are not an answer for me. Instead of focusing about gods and what not, focus on the feeling of the air moving in and out of your nose and across your upper lip. If you have access to outside, trees, birds, waves, are all good things to think about. Just pick something that you find innately calming. Close your eyes and force yourself to concentrate on the bird chirping, the noise of the plane overhead, or the feel of air across your upper lip. It takes a while of repeated forcing yourself back to what you were focusing on. I helps get the hyper hunter in me to calm down after a fix.

Another strategy I have, if I can't sit still is to take a piece of paper and write an idea in the center. Create a spider web of brainstorming and keep going till the page is packed full and then throw it out quickly. You can save it, but put in some place where you won't look at it. I do this strategy a lot when I am worried about something. Problems/situations/ideas seem a lot smaller when written on paper and all the details running around in your head are just a few on paper. Your brain can release the idea or clarify it. I'm tactile dependent, so this helps reset my brain.

The worst time is during tests. I choose to not take advantage of the disability resources offered to me because I wanted to do this like everyone else. However, sometimes when I walk into a test I am hyper, anxious, and cannot focus to save my life. My hearing goes wacky. Florescent lighting is the worst, and I can't tell you why. I sit in my desk, close my eyes, and feel the breath across my lip. I have panic that I need to get to work out, but I also say to myself that the work I do will be wrong and pointless if I don't calm down. I lose five minutes of time to sitting there doing nothing with my eyes closed, but in the long run it is best.

See a doctor about your situation but until then fidget with things, write brainstorming maps, or anything that helps you focus and makes your senses focus on whatever you are doing.

Good luck!