Jan. 25th, 2007

sylvar: (Default)
I'm going through the Sunday coupons.  I found an ad for popcorn that says their brand is So delicious, even Jerome "The Bus" Bettis can't resist!.

Which makes me wonder what I'm missing...

  • Jerome "The Bus" Bettis has the same sort of reaction to eating corn that I do, but he eats their popcorn anyway because he can't resist.

  • Jerome "The Bus" Bettis is known by his teammates as a man with great self-discipline, a man who believes that snacking leads to bad consequences, but even he can't resist this sort of snack.
  • The photograph of a smiling football player is not Jerome Bettis; "Jerome Bettis" really is the team's bus, so it only consumes corn in the form of ethanol fuel, but the smiling football player has stuffed popcorn into the gas tank, and the bus was unable to resist.  I'm not sure why the smiling football player is smiling about this.  Maybe he's from the other team.  Maybe he's stupid, and proud of himself for having fed the bus some popcorn all by himself.
It's gotta be something like this.  Otherwise, why the hell would they say So delicious, even Jerome "The Bus" Bettis can't resist?  Are we supposed to be able to understand this claim?  Or are they just dumber than a bus with a tank full of popcorn and hoping that we are too?
sylvar: (B5: Sheridan: Big Damn Hero)
There's a company whose purpose it is to send trucks around town with rotating advertising panels and an FM transmitter, creating more pollution for the purpose of making it impossible to escape commercial messages.

I ended up near one of these trucks on my morning commute, and decided to preempt their programming.  Their FM transmitter was puny (couldn't get a clear signal from about 20 feet away).  I happened to have an iPod FM transmitter available, so I fired it up, tuned it to broadcast on 99.9 FM, and played

I really regret that I was going to the office today.  I wish I could have followed it for a while longer.  I wish I had songs lined up in a playlist that were even more offensive.  I wish I had a brand-new car, so far I got this hatchback...

Of course, I'd just have been creating more pollution that way.  Maybe what I need is a weatherproof version of the LED throwie, only with an FM transmitter and a chip with a brief offensive message on it...

Come to think of it, a cross-FM-spectrum, low-power transmitter with a repeating message would be a great variant on Road Rage Cards.  It could say to anything within 10 meters, thus serving as both a warning and (if the target is listening to the radio) an annoyance.

A Bluetooth poon will be left as an exercise for the reader.

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