Jun. 28th, 2007

sylvar: (Default)
From the You might be a Floridian if... Facebook group, with my comments in italics.

And a few more from the Miami group:

You know you're from Miami when...
  • you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go
  • the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light
  • you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish
    *Some* Spanish, at least.  For crying out loud, if you've lived somewhere for a year or more and you haven't learned to speak your neighbor's language well enough to greet someone and ask politely if they know your language, you're being rude.  That goes for anyone anywhere.
  • you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case
    It's not instinct, it's on the checklist that you can pick up for free at any grocery or hardware store.
  • you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore
    Lemma: you know that Carl Hiaasen writes nonfiction, mostly.
  • you know never to buy mangos or avocados at a grocery store because you grow them in your backyard
    We had a huge mango tree in our backyard and our neighbor had enough avocado trees to bathe in guacamole.  We also had a grapefruit tree, a navel orange tree, and a tangerine tree -- until the county came and took them away during yet another citrus canker eradication.
  • your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah
    LOL.  I've never bought any of these for myself, being a guy and vegetarian before I could drive -- but maní, definitely.

  • you have to put on the invitations "starts at 2:30pm " when the event really starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time.
    Or you've shown up at 7:00pm when the invitation said 7:00pm, and the host was almost as confused as you were.
And some of my own: you know Miami Spanglish if...
  • You invite friends to "pass by" instead of "come over".

  • Nothing you can buy at Starbucks will ever be as sabroso como una colada de café, or as cheap.

  • You've pointed at something and asked ¿Quejeso?

  • This example makes perfect sense: "I shared a duplex con my familia but other amigos I knew rentaron un efiche. They had to pagar casi the same and had solo one cuarto! Days después I got mi tarjeta con el número del Social and a few semanas later pude landear un better job."

  • And even if you don't know proper Spanish, you've learned how to pronounce cafetería, and you know what you'll find in a carnecería, in a mueblería, and in a ferretería.

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