You might be a Floridian if...

[sylvar]

From the You might be a Floridian if... Facebook group, with my comments in italics.

• "Down South" means Key West.
• "Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
• You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
  And no-one should be allowed to drive under 70 miles an hour.
• Flip-flops are everyday wear.
• Shoes are for business meetings and church.
• No, wait, flip flops are good for church too.
• Socks are only for bowling.
• Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.
• Tap water makes you vomit.
• Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
• An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
• You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.
• You measure distance in minutes.
  And no matter where you want to go, it's half an hour away.
• You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
• You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
• You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes anyway.
• All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
• A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
• A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
• Your winter coat is made of denim.
  Guilty as charged.
• You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
  Duh! Who can't?!
• You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
  This used to be true... dang old-age font.
• You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
• It's not "pop." It's "soda" or "coke."
• Anything under 70 is chilly.
• You've hosted a hurricane party.
• You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
• You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
• You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
• You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
  Not to mention Thonotosassa, Ichetucknee and Wewahitchka -- and you know:
• Which one is strictly for tourists.
• Which one is best in hot weather.
• Which one means 'two big eyes looking up at the sky'.
• Which one is a rest stop.
  
• You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.
• You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
  Only every single time I visit the in-laws. And I'm always glad to see it, because even if I wanted to pull over to pee, there's nothing but guardrailed drainage canals for miles around.
• Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the NRA and a confederate flag.
• You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.
  Not true. I've never lived in a house with a pool. Why have your own pool when the neighbors have one?
• You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
  Do I even *know* anyone who can't swim?
• You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
• You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!
  And, sadly, that it doesn't work on sea urchins. Ow.
• You could swim before you could read.
• You have to drive north to get to The South.
• You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
  Especially the old Deco stores in South Hialeah and Miami Beach.
• Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005
  and 1992-1993-1994...
• You’ve gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark.
  What?!
• You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
• You dread lovebug season.
• You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
  And Andrew. *spit*
• You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.
  Some of my best friends are snowbirds. Hell, I married a damnyankee.
• You know why flamingos are pink.
  Hee hee.
• You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
  And no local festival is complete without a Seminole Indian wrestling a gator.
• You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.
  My mom's family are from New Jersey, so it was a little earlier than that, but still...

Comments

[tiger-stripes.livejournal.com]

Thank you for posting this. This made my morning :-)

Russ got me a signed copy of Carl's latest book. And, I didn't see snow until I was 21.

[vartan.livejournal.com]

ah man, just last night I was talking to a friend who also grew up in FL about all the "man, xxxxx makes us SO floridian". so much on your list was accurate too. and spanglish...heh. yeah, it's more readable than I realized. but yeah, storms, weather, all that kinda stuff, our outlook is totally different than someone from up north.

I miss a lot of the food-type stuff, from simple things like pollo tropical to various little restaurants, to buying hispanic food in the grocery store. oh man, Arepas. I miss arepas.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

I just recently realized that lifers in Tampa have a certain accent. I pick it up whenever I am down there for any amount of time.

[dragonbane.livejournal.com]

Quejeso? Isn't that Cheese?