Reminds me of the flyer I saw in college, posted in the honors dorm, for a proofreading service that promised to "help with your spelling and documentating".
Totally different reason, but how about "I don't want a personal typist because I type faster than I handwrite and it does less damage to my wrists and hands"?
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Where did you find that terrible thing?
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http://botlockgallery.farthinghalearms.com/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=5547&g2_serialNumber=2
(remove botlock to view image)
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